From a year ago…I’m my own best therapist late at night.
In the beginning I couldn’t eat a thing. I remember eating at the Shiva right after coming from the cemetery. My brother Barry brought me a plate of food. That is tradition. Someone brings the mourners a plate of food. Lox, bagels, sliced cucumbers. I remember thinking how Noah would’ve loved all this food . And being confused at the platters being there and him not.
I had a hard time eating because now Noah couldn’t. It felt like I didn’t eat for months. I couldn’t stand thinking about him never eating that béchamel and mushroom pizza we used to get at Trader Joe’s. Or him never eating an apple in the shopping cart at Shoprite ever again. And then throwing that apple on the floor in the third aisle which was the candy aisle. We would share a bag of chocolate licorice as we shopped and I would pay for the empty…
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