I sit in the rocking chair nightly while Miriam is in her crib. The room is lit by a beaded monkey lamp with a 7w bulb giving off just enough light. She likes to fall asleep with me closeby. Bad habit some say. But for me, it’s just as soothing. I never want her looking for me. Did Noah look for me? I hope not. But I’ll always wonder.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, honeypie?”

Silence.

“Hey mommy? Remember when we listen to Frozen music in the car and then we see Spencer and do the outer space puzzle? Remember?”

“Yes, honey. That was fun.”

“Yeah. It was, mommy.”

How big her life must look inside her head! How amazing! When do we lose that? The little things are so huge in that 3 year old brain. The little things are also so huge in this 48 year old brain.

Goodnight. Inner and outer me. We need some sleep.